Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.

• Bud Cort
• James Brolin
• Kim Adams
• Carol Kane
• Pamella D'Pella
• Brian Thompson
• Rhea Perlman
• Woody Harrelson